"Bed Rest"

What the heck does that mean for a mother of two kids who works from home while the kids are asleep who also has a house and husband to take care of? Supposedly I'm supposed to figure that out. I got the lovely privilege of doing a 24-hour urine sample over the weekend and got the results today. Twice as much protein in my urine as there should be. Yikes! And with my blood pressure slowly rising (it's at a whopping 110/70 right now...but up from something like 94/68!), the doctor said it's bed rest for me. For a week. Until I can see my regular doctor next Thursday. I want to laugh. I want to cry. But it sure isn't changing much around here. Ha!

Laugh because of what I already said. How am I supposed to get any more rest than I do already? Laugh because yesterday Evan did this:

He found my ice cream bowl I had eaten out of the night before (sometimes I have a little bowl while I'm working because I'm getting tired and need the extra sugar to keep me awake. Plus, I justify it by reminding myself that I've only gained 8 pounds so it's okay) laying on the desk. He said I shouldn't have too much sugar when I'm pregnant so he put this tape X across it so I couldn't have any more ice cream. It worked for last night. I didn't have any. Tonight, however... But what cracks me up is that they didn't find ice cream in my urine. If I should stay away from anything, maybe it's hamburgers or something. I mean, there's a good source of protein. I'm spilling protein in my urine. I'll stay away from the hamburgers, but until I start spilling ice cream into my urine, that nightly ritual stays. Sorry, son!

I also laugh because the medical assistant who was talking to me about my "minimal activity" told me I should lay down with my feet elevated above my heart. Well, I can't lay flat or I'll die because I can't breathe. So if I'm on my back, I have a few pillows under me. If my feet are then above my heart, this is what I'm picturing...

Well, yeah, I could do that 6 months ago but is that the way I want to be spending my bed rest vacation? Nope!

And then there's the reasons to cry. I think if I don't obey and behave and my blood pressure keeps heading up, up, up, they could probably induce anytime after 35 weeks. I mean, I've had some serious, serious complications with pregnancies. If my BP is up, they'll want to get him out as soon as it is reasonably safe for him. Well, that's in only 2 1/2 weeks. NOT OKAY!!! We have no car, no car seat and no clothes out of storage for this baby! I am definitely not ready for him to make his appearance in the world so I've got to keep that in mind.

All of this comes on the heels of Dallin's 9th birthday, which was May 8th. I said it last year, I'll say it again. Hard to believe we have a child who would be that old. Anyway, it passed very quietly. We had to wait until Mother's Day (just two days later) to visit the cemetery, but we had a nice time there. So I've had these deepish thoughts lately.

I have two appointments every week. This is the same as it was with Evan and Maren. They start them when I'm 30 weeks along since Dallin died at 31 weeks. On Tuesdays I have an ultrasound where they check four things and then on Thursdays a non-stress test. This was all fine and dandy when I was pregnant with Evan and could just leave work early to go have my tests done. It was pretty okay when I was pregnant with Evan and I could either take him with me or have someone watch my one child. Now that I have two kids, I surely didn't want to drag them with me and it's hard to ask anyone to watch two kids every week! So I brought this up to my doctor and asked if maybe we might only do one appointment each week, switching back and forth between tests performed, since I have two other kids at home to think about now. He gently and lovingly reminded me (this is the doctor that has delivered all three of our kids so far!) that 33% of our children have died. Okay, well, when you put it that way! And once it's happened to you (stillbirth, I mean), your chances of it happening again are increased. He said maybe if I had 5 living children it would be a good time to think about that because I had a better percentage. But he wouldn't suggest it now. That straightened me up pretty quickly and I told him I'd be there twice a week. It gets really hard sometimes. I feel like the kids are missing out on some good, quality mom time, especially at this pivotal time before we bring another child into the family. I feel rushed about most of the week, trying to get things done that I wasn't able to get done on Tuesday and Thursday because i was at the doctor's office so long. But then I remember that on a Thursday I had my last OB appointment when I was pregnant with Dallin and Dr. T. said I had a "textbook pregnancy". I still remember that to this day. On Saturday or Sunday he died. When I think about that, I realize I have to do everything I can to ensure Parker's safe arrival, hard as it may be on everyone.

So, it's 10:43 p.m. now. And I'm going to bed because I'm going to be a good little patient. I still have 6 hours of work to do but it's going to have to wait and be late. Tomorrow my sister is coming over and I'll let her clean things out of Evan's room so we can put the bunk beds up. Maybe I'll boss Evan and Maren around from the couch a bit tomorrow. And maybe, just maybe I'll get Michael to do the dishes. :-)