Brothers Forever

I was just reminded of something that happened with Evan a couple of weeks ago that I realized I had to get written down so we could always remember it.

It was a Saturday and everyone was bustling around except Evan. He seemed kind of quiet. I passed him on my way to the laundry room and saw that he was taking our Dallin scrapbook down from the shelf. I gave him a little smile and went to do my thing. A few minutes later I came into the family room and saw him sitting on the couch with the book in his lap and tears in his eyes. Oh, to say it was heart-wrenching would be an understatement. I asked him what was wrong and he said he missed his brother and wishes he were still alive. We had a small cry together as I told him that I did, too. I told him that I often wonder how our lives would be different with a 10-year-old in the house and we talked about how Dallin might do things with Evan.

Even now it's really emotional to think about that time we spent together looking through those pictures. Are we so blessed to have three healthy, living children? Yes. Do we still feel a loss in our family, like someone is missing? Yes. And not just me and Michael. We all do.

A couple of minutes into our chat, Michael and Maren happened to be walking by and they stopped to talk with us about it. We all ended up hugging and comforting each other. It was a really special time. It has seemed to me on many occasions, but was confirmed to me that day, that Evan has a real and special connection with Dallin. We are all comforted to know that we will see him again and we'll never be separated again. For Evan (yes, and us) it seems like such a long time away. But, like I tell the kids all the time, it will be here quicker than you think. That's how it always happens. Before I know it I'll be old and gray(er) and ready to leave this life. It's comforting to know that some of my family will be there waiting for me.

Maren's Turn - Age 4

Oh, our beautiful Maren! This girl has changed SO much in just the last couple of months. Everything had been so the same for so long and now we're getting into new (sometimes exciting, sometimes crazy) things with her. It's a lot of fun! Very excitingly...she's grown finally! Half of the clothes she wears are even 4T. Until a few months ago she was wearing 3T and still some 2T. It's been exciting to see her grow out of clothes that she's worn for a year and a half. Ha!

One thing that hasn't changed about Maren is how loving she is. She is usually just a ray of sunshine...saying things to make us feel good, giving physical affection, drawing pictures for us (yes, still of our family...and now Rapunzel!), and helping anyone who needs help. She insists on holding the door open for people to walk out of church or, oh, yeah, anywhere. Even if there are no people walking out at that moment, she'll wait in hopes of someone needing to walk out in the next five minutes, before I yell to her to stop holding the door and get in the car. She is always self-sacrificingly generous with her brothers. Sometimes I'm glad about that. Sometimes I'm worried that she's being and is going to be taken advantage of. It's a hard and a happy thing to watch.

Her favorite movie at the moment is (surprise, surprise) Tangled! Can you blame her? The funny thing is that she is terrified of the non-mother motherly bad lady. (What's her name again?) My girl who once used to sleep nicely in her bed, wanting the lights off and sleeping with the door shut, is now scared in the nighttime because we watched it a week ago. I'm thinking that that wicked lady is one of the tamer Disney villains. So I've been thinking about it lately and I think it's because she's a mother figure to Rapunzel and she's so mean to her. She's sensitive, that Maren. I can't wait for that last movie viewing to wear off so we can get back to normal sleep again.

One thing that has changed with Maren is her listening. Well, now it's not listening so much. Now she's usually got her own agenda so when I'm asking her to do something, she's thinking about what she wants to do and I end up getting frustrated having to say the same thing seven times. Ugh. I'm sure this too shall pass. She REALLY wants to do everything herself right now. She's making her own sandwiches and she wants to unlock the doors and get the mail. She wants to be the DJ on my iPod. Pretty much everything. Do not do it for her!

Maren has been getting a lot of crushes lately. It's so cute...she'll just out of the blue say that she's got a crush on somebody. The other day it was my sister's whole family. "Aunt Danica, I have a crush on your whole family." I love it! That's some serious affection!

Maren is still a happy napper. And she needs it, too. If she doesn't get her afternoon nap, everyone feels it into the evening. I'm definitely on borrowed time but for now everyone is happier when Maren has a nap.

(Yeah, we do super fancy cakes around here - ha ha!) Maren continues to love preschool and dance class. She's super excited for her Disneyland-themed recital next month - and so am I! Songs from The Tiki Room, Pirates of the Caribbean, princess songs, etc. I'll probably cry for just wanting to pack her up right there and jet on over to Disneyland for some real live action. Anyway, there's sure to be ridiculously cute video next month on that!
Maren is getting really good at reading and writing. She even thrilled herself today by reading some signs at the grocery store. It sure is fascinating to watch a child learn to read. And her writing is just fun, fun, fun. She's got the basics down. She's written a few books and always has something to tape up on the wall. One of my favorite things that she's written lately was during Sacrament Meeting at church. She realized that she hadn't brought her scriptures and, not wanting to be loud (yeah, I'm sure that's it - wink), she grabbed her notebook and wrote, "I dot hav mi scriphars". Not bad, though I, for a newly 4-year-old. Oh! I just found the original. Here we go...

Oh, that's good for posterity. I think I'll have to scan some more for my records. I'm really bad at keeping this kind of stuff. Anyway, Maren is the sunshine of the family. Always happy, always helping. Every family should have one. And without her, we'd wither away to nothing - she is so loved!

Evan P.S.

Oh, boy, I forgot one thing that I wanted to mention about Evan that I just have to have recorded! It's about the...

A couple of months ago we were at my mom's house and Evan pulled out a science book to look through and, unbeknownst to us, he found anatomically-explicit pictures in there and some discussion about the birds and the bees. Did we plan to start talking to our 6-year-old about sex right now? Negative. But Evan is a curious kid and he had a lot of questions and would not let up on them. So, Evan had to take him upstairs and explain some things. And then we got home and the other kids were in bed, we had to explain more things. Heaven help me. I thought I had a couple of years to prepare for that...how to talk about it with my child without turning beet red in the face. But now he knows. And hopefully he'll always feel comfortable enough to come talk to us whenever he has questions. Sex talk part one, check!