(DISCLAIMER: This post is just for me. I don't want anyone thinking I'm saying all this because I want to see a cute little girly outfit in my mailbox in the next week. This is for me to read years down the road when I can laugh about it...hopefully!)
It was an excruciatingly painful day to be so very poor! The kids and I went to Fred Meyer to get some of the basics...milk, cheese, bread. You know. Well, Freddy's was having a big sale on clothes. I walked into this Carter's wonderland of baby girl clothes that were SOOO cute! I kept picking up outfit after adorable outfit, holding it up high so Evan could see it, and saying, "wouldn't Maren look so cute in this, Evan?" I'm sure he thought I was nuts, but he played along by telling me they would look cute on her. And the thing is that all the clothes were at least 50% off. We're talking Carter's jammies for $9. That's a steal! Now, in my former life when I worked at Unum, I might've picked up four of them without even thinking. Money really wasn't an issue. Oh, sometimes I long for that feeling that if there is something we need, I could just grab it. Anyway, I had to tear myself away. $9 might as well be $900 right now. Then we got into the women's sale racks. Again, all these beautiful, amazing clothes for 50% off or more! I was envisioning myself on a Sunday morning NOT running around like a crazy woman trying to find something to wear that isn't there. That's how it's been the last couple of months. I just don't have much of anything to wear. And if I thought church was bad, the other six days of the week are worse. Now, granted, my sister-in-law did give me two bags of clothes that I need to go through and try on. However, I have hopes of fitting into about a quarter of the things she gave me and some of them date back as far as probably 10 years. I know I'm no longer the hippest chick on the block (I used to be! Remember, Lisa?), but I do have a little bit of pride. I can't be too outdated.
So, some days I really feel strongly about my gratitude. Grateful for my wonderful family. Grateful that Michael is going to school to have a career and bless our family. Grateful for all the amazing things that bless my life on a daily basis. And then there's days like these when I'm just tired of being poor and I just want to be able to buy something. Anything. A $9 pair of jammies. :-) Maybe next year. Or the year after. Or when the student loans are paid off. Everyone says that they have such happy memories of being poor, right? I'm anxious for the memories. Ha!
5 comments:
Happy memories of being poor? You know what I say about that? It's a bunch of bunk! I've been there and it ain't pretty or happy! It helps to write about it. I'm glad you blogged about this Memory. When I go back and read my journal entries from a few years ago it's painful to read them because that pain comes back and it's like you are reliving the moment but at the same time you are glad you recorded things like that. Hang in there. You are an amazingly strong woman and you will get through this.
I know how you feel!! Sending hugs your way. Hopefully there will be a light at the end of the tunnel soon.
Isn't that just the worst?! I've developed a trick for myself to make myself feel like I'm buying all the stuff I want. I'll put stuff in my cart that I think I just have to have. Or just want. :) And then I can keep it in there as long as I want as long as I put it back before I get to the checkout line. Its stupid, but for me, it works. I've 'bought' all KINDS of things that way! lol. I love you!
Memory, We've all been there! Hang in there! As hard as it is now, it does, and will get better. Keep doing what you know you're suppossed to be doing...all will be well!
Reading this brought back the same feelings that I have had many times. Money is such a crazy thing. Sometimes, I go shop just to get the urge out and look, other times I just have to avoid stores all together so I can't think about it. You obviously have your priorities straight (school, home, children). Hang in there.
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